FINALS ARE OVER!!!!

So I figured finals would be easy? what a freshman asumption. right? Well i made it, i had 7 finals total. music theory, music therapy, aural skills, keyboarding, english/shakespeare, sight singing, and psychology. It was ridiculous. But now im done and I just get to go home and enjoy the cold snugglyness of winter and the season while stressing about the lack of money i have and my current relationship status of oh wait.. yes thats right single again. this will make exactly 23 christmas's with no companion of any kind. I know I am supposed to be all patient and focused on the Lord and only him rather than thinking of what I don't have and what I could have, but it sure is hard not to when EVERYONE around you is seriously getting engaged. Jenni, Jared and Cami, Ben and Jessica, and Im sure a thousand more are too. But what can you do right? Not to mention that I just found out that I still won't get to see my marine friend S in febuary because the stupid marines are so stupid!!! he is now having to go to hawaii for like 3 months. I mean seriously is it so much to ask the universe to just keep in in one place long enough for his friends to be able to see him? I feel like I have been so good and so patient while he has been gone and normally i would have been so much more dramatic but I truly have been so good but I guess I am going to just have to be more. I must say that ultimately after ranting I am able to think a little more logically, so life truley is amazing. On monday was my birthday and I spent over 10 hours sitting on my couch studying but people came over and were so sweet!!! The whole day was great, first I got ROSES that would be number 2 roses from a guy (hahaha) but seriously it made the whole day so good, mostly because it was so unexpected, it was from that marine friend that i don't get to see, not something i would expect him to do which made it so good. then some friends brought me a cake and i got a scarf and chocolate from some other firends, there are some seriously amazing people in my life. that i can never deny and never will!!! not to mention that my NY family seriously warms my heart everytime i think of them i wish i could see them and we could all just go swinging in central park. who knows. Life is for the most part great. and I am so happy to be in school, and it might sound cliche but God and church and the spirit and my testimony has grown so much, but I need to now adopt a little bit more patience and achieve a more accepting attitude like i had before in NY. its a hard balance to find when you feel that the church offers the priesthood and doctrine of a supreme being who has created everything and who only wants us to grow and become better than we were before through his ordinances and covenants and through lifes experience, and then also to accept it when the people you love dont see that and then not to judge them for the things they do that you believe are hindering the will of god, but i guess all things whether religion or not are a balancing learning act. :) all is well and finals are over thank heavens and im excited for christmas!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I liked this poem

To the one I love...

in another place and another time,
would it be right to call you mine?
for when i gaze into your eyes,
i see the truth beyond the lies.
all the tongues and words untold,
fail to say what your eyes doth hold.
i long for you but now i see,
the love in you is not of me...

A long lost letter from my father in heaven.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone. To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively, but God says 'No," not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone with giving your self totally and unreservedly to me, to have an intense personal relationship with me alone. I love you my child. Until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that i have planned for you. you will never be united with another until you are united with me. Exclusive of any other desires, or longings, i want you to stop planning, and stop wishing. Allow me to bring that person to you, you just keep watching me, expecting the greatest thing, keep listening and learning the things i tell you. youjust wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry, don't look around at the things other have or what I have given them. Don't look at things you think you want. You just keep looking up to me, for you will miss what i will show you. When you are ready I'll surprise you with a love more wonderful than you ever have dreamed of. You see, until you are ready and until i have the one for you ready, i am working even this minutes to have you both ready at the same time. But not until you both are satisfied exclusively with me, and the life i have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me. This is perfect love. And dear one, i want you to have this wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with. Remember it is hard to stumble on your knees. - Your Father In Heaven.