New Years ....

So I felt that I needed to write some sort of New Years Resolution, hoping that by putting the effort to make it would help the chances of it all coming to pass in 2009.

And since Im pretty sure hardly anyone follows mine, i'm not worried about what I write :)

2008 was an interesting year. I can't even remember what I was doing last New Years, which pretty much explains the entire year. I spent 7 months simply working, or you could say waiting for school to start. Working at The Olive Garden, which became my life night and day. Then with the Highlight being the wonderful memories spent at EFY over the summer, and then finally school in the fall. But then what happened at school? I met some really awesome friends who I hope are still there when I get back and worked hard then not hard then kicked my butt to pass my classes. I got my car towed, got in a small car accident in the same day, had to pay 300 $ to get it out, and then drove through Sardine Canyon in a blizzard. That was the coolest event. My main goal was to get to school, to start the next chapter of my life and pursue this new road I felt was right for me. And I did that, and it was great, but I feel the year went by with not nearly enough to speak about it. OH i did stop biting my nails however, which if you know me that is a huge deal! I always bite my nails, but I did it to prove to myself that I have self control and I do, so now I just need to apply it to exercise, homework, eating healthy and scriptures etc.

so I guess that sets up a good segway to 2009 and my hopes for it. I am somewhat dreading this coming semester, knowing that it is going to be so hard and so much work and cold, and so many ppl are getting married, and I want so much and want to do so much. So the first thing I hope for it a different attitude, or more motivation. I need the motivation to keep pushing, even though I seem to feel so Blah. I hope not just to survive this next semester but I hope to survive and come out of it more educated and skilled, and filled with vibrance for life. Thats what I lack now.

I also hope to be more hopeful. In all catagories. I want to learn or rather feel that I have made progress with the instruments I am learning this semester. I want to LOVE photography instead of end up hating it because I might not b good at it. I want to feel good about me and what Im doing. Being Lazy just tends to make me feel too useless, so I want to be busy but not too busy to lend a hand or even just chat with a friend. I want to be braver than i was in 2009, not so affraid to take chances. I want to have more self disciplin in regards to homework, and movies, and TV, and spiritual and physical things.

I want to get EFY all summer! hahaha so that I can make the money i need by doing something so rewarding and fullfilling. I want to Get my fafsa filled out so fast and find out i get more financial aide this next year. I hope to learn a little bit more about who i am and in that reach for more. I want to get better at return and reporting. I want to enjoy the scriptures when i read them every morning. I hope to get better at mornin prayers. I hope to be more aware of the missionary moments im sure are around me that i miss. i hope to be more like the wife and mother i keep dreaming i want to be, now rather then when i actually am a wife and mother. I hope to loose the 'utah mormon' i seem to have adopted over the past year. I hope to find a way to be accepting and loving but also stand up for what i believe and show that it is the desire of my heart. I hope to be more devoute. I hope to learn with body mind and soul more fully the encompassing powers of the atonement. I hope to be someone who laughs when things go wrong and remembers to thank those deserving when things go right. i hope to find more answers for the questions i feel i need to know about myself and why i dont have all that i think i should. i hope to stop wishing for more and be content with what i have. i hope to be the kind of friend who is an example of love and give all the glory to him above. i hope to be the kind of person i look to. i pray and hope to be the person the lord looks to when he needs some help. I hope to be my testimony not just share it. i hope to be strong enough or solid enough in who i am and what i know in my heart that i will stop going for guys that dont like me and be ok enough to accept that without a long dramatic roller coaster ride. (dumb girls)

i hope to be kinder to my parents, remembering the things i am grateful for and the things that they do that make them such great parents. i hope to stop passing judgement and learn that there is more than i know.

i hope to take the opportunities i am given to be someone who wants to serve those around me. i hope to be more willing because it lifts another rather than because of my benefit.

i hope to see my NY family, and be a better example to them than i was before. i hope to share with them the changes ive made in me, and embrace their changes also. i hope to be loved by those i love, but to be loved for the right reasons. i hope to have more faith, in ALL areas and relationships in my life.

I hope that at the end of 2009 when i am 24 that i will believe christ and in myself more and that i will feel that though i might not have made perfect success that i can say i made progress and that i have come out closer to the will of my father which i trust is mine, a place and person of joy, laughter, peace, love, and happiness.

I told you i hoped and wanted alot. of course the number one thing i must remember is i cant do all this alone. and at this point in my life my companion is the lord and i hopefully will rely on him and lean to him when i cant find the strength, sense, or motivation to move along.

2009 will be a good year. its already decided now its up to me and my attitude to make that my reality. :)